Lock up Mr Men

If you see one of these dudes, please don’t panic.

Mr Tickle

In what should be a surprise to no one these days, the Mr Men books are now sexist.

And no, that is not the new unit logo for one of the Australian Army’s combat units.

It is nasty. But not in a good way. It contravenes the value of respect.

So upon contact with Mr Tickle, please find a safe space and immediately dial your nearest Human Rights branch on the emergency line.

Because he is sexist.

Can’t you just that sexism oozing? Actually, I can’t either.

But someone else can. Madeleine Pownall to be precise.

Madeleine Pownall

Madeleine Pownall’s academic career consists of counting the words in the Mr Men books and then arriving at the conclusion that they’re sexist.

She goes to the University of Lincoln and has made a living counting the number of words that each of the Mr Men say and comparing them with the syllables uttered by the Little Miss characters.

And that is how we know that the image above is sexist.

Mr Tickle’s likely to have been given eight more words than Little Miss Bossy, which would probably mean that she’s not so bossy after all. But it does mean, apparently, that the bloke who wrote the books hates women.

At this point, I will remind you that the entire anti-discrimination industry is made up of depressing people who don’t like jokes, as I wrote here last week.

Somehow we’ve ‘progressed’ to the point where these sad sacks control pretty much the smallest details of our lives and even who we can boo at the footy.

And now kids, who have been deprived of Biggles and Enid Blyton because someone somewhere is offended, are to be deprived of Mr Nosey because Little Miss Sunshine should not need saving.

The good news is that I am reliably informed that carrying around an image of Mr Tickle will ward off femo-nazis.

You never know when they may strike, so keep one on you at all times.

And maybe Mr Tickle should be made the new logo of the Australian Army after all. He will probably do more to preserve the Army’s warrior culture than anything Marise Payne will ever manage…

Author: Bernard Gaynor

Bernard Gaynor is a married father of eight children. He has a background in military intelligence, Arabic language and culture and is an outspoken advocate of conservative and family values.

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