There is nothing more frustrating than trying to reason with someone who supports homosexual marriage.
You can’t reason with someone who supports something that is so unreasonable that the only logical explanation for their support of it is that they have lost all concept of reason and logic.
The arguments of those who think that the government should send marriage certificates to those who engage in sodomy are based on idiotic claims. Mainly they are that gay marriage does not affect anyone else and that those who support it are progressive, open-minded and polite. Both are myths.
So let’s debunk both those little myths right here and now.
And in order to do that we will have a conversation: a conversation between two people. One stupid. One sane. To make it clear we’ll simply call them Stupid and Sane. **
Stupid: Gee, isn’t it great that the ACT government finally passed laws to support same-sex marriage. I’m so happy that all love is treated equally.
Sane: No, it’s not great. For a start, you don’t even make sense. Not all love is treated equally by the government anyway.
Stupid: Well, all love is treated equally now.
Sane: No, it’s not. The government doesn’t recognise the love between brothers who live together as marriage. It doesn’t recognise the love of mates who share a flat as marriage. It doesn’t recognise the selfish love of an adulterer as marriage, even if a child is born. And it doesn’t recognise the perverted idea of sexual love between an adult and a minor – even if it is consensual – as marriage. In fact, the government will rightly jail those who commit these crimes. Even the more minor infractions, like the young female teacher who sleeps with a 17 year old student, become highly publicised and embarrassing court cases.
Stupid: What’s your point? By the way, it’s just disgusting that you are saying gays are paedophiles.
Sane: I didn’t say that. And my point is that marriage is not primarily about love. It’s about children. The only reason the government should even be interested in marriage, which is a non-government affair, is because it has a vested interest in ensuring the next generation is protected and that families are supported. Without children, there will be no future state. By the way, I’m not married because the government gave me a certificate. I’m married because I promised my wife to be her sole companion until death parts us. I made this promise so that we could start a family.
Stupid: Sir, you’re just a bigot. I didn’t realise people like you even existed anymore.
Sane: That’s just a phrase that people like you throw around when people like me make more sense than you can comprehend. Adding a ‘sir’ to the front doesn’t change this fact. It just makes you sound pretentious.
Stupid: Dude, you’re a bigot. Don’t you get it? You hate everyone. That’s why everyone hates you.
Sane: Oooookay. Did you even listen to what you just said?
Stupid: People like you disgust me. I hope your kids grow up to be gay. No one is forcing you to get gay married. Why can’t you just accept love? Anyone who is in love should be able to get married.
Sane: Again with the love thing. So do you think that three people should be able to get married if they are ‘in love’?
Stupid: Don’t put words in my mouth. You know what I mean. Gay people should be able to marry. I don’t like discrimination.
Sane: So, are you happy to discriminate against polygamists?
Stupid: What a bigot you are. Dwarves should be able to get married as well. It doesn’t matter whether you are black or white, gay or whatever. Love deserves to be recognised.
Sane: Ummm, a polygamist is someone who wants to marry more than one person.
Stupid: Whatever. Gay marriage is just about two people. No one is suggesting that the laws of marriage will ever be changed to make it mean something different. Just this time, we need to change marriage laws so that they don’t discriminate.
Sane: Let’s talk about discrimination. I think we’ve cleared it up enough to understand that you do actually support discrimination in marriage because you won’t let three people get hitched. Do you agree?
Stupid: I’m not discriminatory. You are. I oppose all forms of discrimination, but marriage is for two people.
Sane: Uh huh. Now you are starting to make perfect sense. That was a little ‘in’ joke by the way.
Stupid: I didn’t get it. It can’t have been very funny. Anyway, why do you care? Gay marriage doesn’t affect you.
Sane: Actually, it does. It means that the government equates my marriage with my wife and the children that flowed from this with a relationship that biologically cannot produce any children. It also means that a whole range of things, from education to workplace laws will need to change to accommodate a perverted notion of homosexual unions. At the very least, this will cost money and I pay taxes. Don’t I get a say in the way taxes are spent, or is it only homosexuals that get to do that? What about education? Am I allowed to be concerned that these laws will mean, logically, that children will be exposed to homosexual sex-education in schools?
Stupid: I can’t believe that someone as selfish as you is allowed to breed. Don’t you know that having kids endangers the future of the human race? They have a carbon footprint, you know.
Sane: You didn’t answer my question and I find that comment a little offensive. Are you suggesting that it’s selfish for my wife to give up a career and for me to spend most of my income on the next generation?
Stupid: Yes. Gay people would never do anything as selfish as having kids the way you do.
Sane: Actually, gay people can’t procreate. That’s the whole point. The purpose of marriage is about creating a stable environment with a mother and a father in which children are raised. That’s what a family is. Society is based on families, and it works best when families are strong.
Stupid: You must be a sexist pig to make your wife stay at home. How selfish! But gay people get kids all the time. It’s called surrogacy.
Sane: Again, a little offensive. Actually, it’s her choice. She finds great fulfilment in raising children to be productive members of society. But don’t you think it’s a little sexist to deliberately raise a child without a mother? And don’t you think it’s a little selfish to create a child that will be deliberately raised away from its biological parents?
Stupid: I’m not sexist. I have heaps of gay friends and they are all probably better mothers than most women I know. They are also the most unselfish people I know. That is why they are so careful when choosing who the surrogate parents are. They would never want to raise a child with a disability or anything.
Sane: Raising a child with a disability is about the most compassionate, unselfish work anyone can do.
Stupid: I can’t believe how heartless you are. Who would wish a disability on anyone? It’s because of people like you that there is so much suffering in the world.
Sane: (sigh) I didn’t wish a disability on anyone, I just said that it is unselfish to look after those with disabilities. But we’ll move on. I find it a little hard to understand how a homosexual man can replace a mother.
Stupid: Where’s your proof? You just make outrageous claims and you don’t even have any scientific evidence to back it up. Gay men are great mothers. You just don’t want to open your mind. Also, I will answer your question about schools. There’s nothing icky about being gay. Kids should be taught about it at school. It’s a health issue.
Sane: So you think that children should be taught about the health problems associated with the penetration of the anal cavity by male genitalia?
Stupid: Gross! How can you even talk about things like that. Of course children shouldn’t be taught about that. Only someone disgusting like you would even think of it. Your mind is in the gutter. You’re probably a closet gay. Kids should be taught about love and respect. We should all respect that gay sex is loving. Every child should be taught this.
Sane: So you are saying that my children should be taught that homosexuality is acceptable, even if I disagree as a parent, but that they shouldn’t be taught about the health risks?
Stupid: Don’t be such a bigot. Sex education isn’t about teaching what is right or wrong. It’s about acceptance and it’s an important mental health issue. You don’t need to vilify gay people like the way you want. Don’t you know how it makes them feel to be told that gay sex is unhealthy? We shouldn’t do that.
Sane: As a parent, I would like my children to learn about right and wrong. I want them to have strong moral values – especially when it comes to sexuality.
Stupid: Duh. All kids should learn about right and wrong. That’s why sex education is so important. It teaches them that there is nothing wrong with being gay or whatever. You have no right to teach children that it is wrong. I object to religious teaching in schools that says it is.
Sane: Well, luckily I send my children to a private school and they are taught about morality. That means they are taught that homosexuality is wrong.
Stupid: There should be laws against that. Schools like that are dangerous. We don’t need more bigots growing up like you.
Sane: So you don’t you think that I have any rights as a parent about what my children are taught?
Stupid: Of course you do. No one is saying parents don’t have rights anymore. It’s just that sometimes we need to teach children things differently because parents don’t educate them properly. Like you. You’re a bigot.
Sane: So, let me recap. You don’t like discrimination and think that all love should be treated equally, but you are happy to discriminate against all sorts of love being recognised as marriage. You don’t believe homosexual marriage affects me, but you think that my children should be exposed to sex-education that doesn’t even tell the truth about homosexual acts, regardless of my beliefs. You even think that schools that don’t teach your beliefs should be shut down. You think that homosexual men can be better mothers than women and you called me a selfish, sexist pig because my wife raises our children at home.
Stupid: Yeah, pretty much. You’re a bigot and you just don’t understand the modern world.
Sane: I don’t think you are very logical.
Stupid: How dare you insult me! This conversation is over. I can’t wait until bigots like you die and the world is a better place. There’s no point arguing with you. I don’t even understand what you are saying half the time.
* I think I should follow Mark Twain’s advice.
** This conversation is based on real-life events.